Wild Wild PNG (Part 1)

Clear My Mind

Papua New Guinea. PNG. That place is ridiculous.

So the Pacific is broken up into three distinct ethnicities and culture types. The Micronesians (think Palau), the Polynesians (Hawaii, Samoa, Tonga, etc), and the Melanesians. Melanesia is comprised of 5 countries; Vanuatu, the Soloman Islands, New Caledonia, parts of Fiji, and PNG.

The Melanesians expanded into the Pacific from PNG. If you look at a map, you could probably draw out the eastward migration fairly intuitively. As such, a lot of the Melanesian countries share very similar cultures, language, and heritage. But none compare to the depth and richness of PNG.

It is a very large country in comparison to the other Pacific Islands, with an abundance of natural resources and an exploding population.

And an abundance of guns. We are not talking about pistols and breech loading shotguns your great-great-grandfather used to tote around shooting squirrels (although there are those….the guns, not the squirrels). Assault rifles, AK-47’s, probably even an occasional rocket launcher are all roaming the streets, no big deal. The guard at McDonalds carries one. Your mom, if she were in PNG, would carry one.

PNG shares a border with Indonesia, and the theory goes that guns are smuggled in for food.

Every one in the Pacific is scared of PNG. Rascals, as man PNG are called, are notorious for gang and tribal firefights. It’s not that they target foreigners, but collateral damage (interpret as plump red Alaskan ambling down the street) is not avoided. Look out for cross-fire.

Master Bruce, a friend of mine in Vanuatu who runs plantations for a living, was caught in one of these street wars. He’s walking to the bank and a couple of guys get mowed down, the window behind him shatters everywhere and cuts him up. No big deal.

Seriously. There is a website, www.sleepinginairports.com which goes through the airports of the world and rates them for comfort, amenities, and safety. Port Moresby is the winner of the 2005 Poopy Airport Award (the prestigous ranking for the world's worst airport), with quotes such as "I can only imagine that this place was safer when the Americans and Japanese were bombing it in world war two"

One traveler gives Port Moresby two skull-and-cross-bones, owing to the fact that while standing in line to get his boarding pass, a firefight erupts between the guards and a local gang and seven (yes, seven) people are shot dead in front of him. He grabs his boarding pass and, slipping in blood, catches his airplane. No big deal.

The post was later removed by the moderator as it was not relavent to the sleeping ammenities of the airport.